i feel like having a blog is as difficult as writing in your journal, in some ways. so many things happen every day here and i feel overwhelmed by it so i don't blog and then each day there's so much more to say that i'm behind on so i keep not blogging and then there's a million lost details. i think i'll really blog about london, once i leave london. but that's why people tell me they don't journal. because eventually it's been 6 months of life that they're behind on and it's easier to not write than to try to recap the past 6 months to your journal. so i guess i'm gonna try to just start from where i am.
but i guess first i'll go back a bit. i remember thinking that i'd never get here. that i'd never actually be here! well, i remember thinking that maybe i shouldn't come here. i was scared and unsure. i was scared about leaving the comfortable life that i had built for myself. but that's stupid. and being scared is never a good enough reason not to do something. and true, the world, and life, doesn't wait for me. or anyone. but this is one of the best decisions i've ever made and has already impacted my life in the best ways. has changed it in some ways.
i remember the weekend before i was supposed to come there was a hurricane. i had already been a bit nervous about everything not happening because of all the riots here. which i have been pretty much totally unaffected by. but everyone would tell me every day about the riots and how bad they were. anyway, i was supposed to fly to jfk so i could fly to london with bryn. but there was a hurricane. i'd worked so hard and spent extra money getting the flight to go through jfk in the first place and i didn't want it to be for nothing. but i also didn't want to get to london a week late should my flight be cancelled. (if my flight was cancelled i wouldn't be able to fly out until the end of the week instead of the beginning. thus the week.) i called the airlines, they told me to change my flight. there were only 2 seats on 1 other flight available. i had half an hour to make my decision. the storm hit the day before i was supposed to leave. the airports in ny/nj opened up the day i left. i did change my flight. even though in the end i don't think my initial flight was cancelled or delayed at all. but i don't know. so all that effort like 8 months ago was for nothing. but this way i got to go through amsterdam and i flew on my own to 2 new countries and got to my destination on my own. one of the most stressful weekends of my life, but it all worked out and i'm actually grateful for the experience. i felt proud of myself.
and now i'm here! and everything has been just ideal pretty much since day 1. i can't say enough good things about this experience. we're leaving for paris in a week! for a week! and we get to do pretty much whatever we want! this study abroad is focused so much on introspection and self discovery and i feel like i've learned so much about myself. how i think. how i work. what i want and like. i mean just more. there's been more time to learn more about myself than i already knew. we'll get to that later. or i will. you might be bored.
like i said i think i'll really start to reflect on LONDON once i'm not in it any more. and i suppose england/europe, for that matter. but for now a lot of my reflections just have to do with my and my life. not london, specifically.
RANGERS!! WORLD SERIOUS. woot. represent. holla. i love them dearly. they are often like my wayward child- i love them unconditionally and always, but they do sometimes upset and disappoint me. like game 3. but game 3 is DEAD TO ME so we won't discuss it. games here start at 1:05 am so yeah it's tough to watch them. but the 2 that i've watched we've lost. of course. to the glee of my friend here that watches them with me and is an avid cardinals fan. barf. seriously.
(11/6) so all that i wrote like 2 weeks ago. the rangers lost as i thought they might, but i still love them anyways. for my religion project here i actually have to start writing in this thing.....yeah. so i'm supposed to do blog updates twice a week for the next month. TWICE! gah!! i was a bit late on deciding my project so hopefully this will all still be enough.
PARIS. too much to say. i will make a whole post on paris in the very near future. it's somethin else!
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