those that know me well know that i'm working on a film right now. officially i am the art director and an ak-TOR. (if you couldn't tell the emphasis goes on the second part of that word.) film acting is fun! it's different. and there's always a bunch of people watching you, and standing really close to you while holding equipment that's pointed and focused at you. and just one lens looking at you but you're not exactly sure what parts of you it's seeing. and if you're helping with tech stuff you get to say stuff like, "sound speeding!" Or, "marker!" Or as an actor you can just be like, yeah lets do that again. one more time. Except you probably don't really ever need to say that because the same scene is shot from like 3 different angles and there's like at least 5 takes of each angle.
something great about filming this movie is that there is lots of down time where you're just waiting to do another take or scene while equipment is getting set up or moved, or whatever. and during my film down time i've gotten to use quite a bit of it to talk to my new friend stephen! who is great. he refers to winston churchill affectionately as, "Winnie," and we often bust out our southern/british accents. except his english accent is far better than mine slash he sort of already has one as is. (please be on the look-out for our music video that we're making called, girl's got the *clap*. (that right there means that you don't say the word clap, but you actually just make a clapping noise. see what we did there?)) see on stage there are far less breaks and obviously during a show there are like zero. you're either acting or being quiet. being quiet is boring.
just me and Ptheodore against the world! (this picture is really just here to visually spice up this post. did it work??)
so i started this entry a few weeks ago but i never finished it because i really just didn't know what to say. i mean nothing interesting or exciting has really been happening in my life. i work. i nap. i eat. i read. i work on my film. i plan to go to london. i play mario kart. i wait. i am single. i see my family. great things, but not particularly exciting to read. then last night something that is worth while to write about happened to me. my mom is in town! and she wanted to take me and my siblings to see this movie called 17 miracles. it's a pioneer movie. a mormon one, really. i love the pioneers. (i hate pioneer day: that is another post entirely.) i always have and i would say they make me emotional. but this movie just details people that sacrificed everything for one goal. one thing they wanted that they would do anything for. a lot of them died for it. a lot of them died giving all they had to people they loved. but what it made me think of was, for what am i living my life for? for what purpose? am i driving it toward something? i don't want to waste it just doing nothing. or not making it worthwhile. and with that in mind i thought, i don't want to waste my time, and my life, on people that just don't matter and don't make my life better. i want to make my life mean something. and stand for something. and be for something. and i hope that i don't ever lose sight of that. i feel like lately i have. i'm so excited to go to london. i'm so excited to leave provo. i'm so excited to see my friends again. i feel like in london i'll just feel so free. and happy. i think this is really going to be one of the best experiences of my life. so much is changing and so much will be different and for once i'm so excited i really, truly cannot wait. and i can't wait to be there with bryn! one of my favorite humans.
i think my life is changing and only for the better. like i think i'm really on an uphill path and only more and more good things are going to happen for me. this is a good feeling!
RESOLUTION:
excepting dylan taylor i think i have exclusively dated/been interested in boys that don't care about me. never again.
