Friday, March 23, 2012

my name is laura, and i like who i am.

so, to be fair, i stole this title from my friend sadie's blog, except that it had her name instead of mine. of course. it was just a link at the bottom of one of her pages from like two years ago. and i really loved that thought. 

i live a good life. people love me and i love them. and i've lived so much of my life feeling so self-conscious. always fearing i wasn't good enough for whatever, for whatever reason. 

i've worried that:
-i'm not pretty enough
-i'm not smart enough
-i don't work hard enough
-i'm not talented enough
-i'm not sporty enough
-i'm not funny enough
-i'm not kind enough
-i'm too loud
-i'm too mean
-i'm too opinionated
-i talk too much
and probably a million more

but it doesn't matter. none of it matters. to some people i'm not smart enough. i'm not talented enough, and i'm not pretty enough. 
 it doesn't! it really doesn't! and it's a truth that has set me free! well, at least as long as i make sure to remember it. none of it matters because i love me. i always want to try to be better, but i like who i am. 

i'm smart. i'm loving. i'm sensitive. i'm incredibly awkward at times. sometimes i lose my temper. i'm passionate. i care. i'm loyal. i'm dedicated. i work hard. i try to understand. i want to be better. i'm talented. i'm funny. i don't give up. i try really hard. i get scared, but i try to never let my fear control me! i want to see the world! i want to see everything. i want to know everything. i like to add the letter 'z' on to words that should end in an 's.' lovez it. i don't want to fight. i want to be happy. i am happy. i have faith. i have hope. sometimes i say too much. sometimes i tell the same story more than once. i talk too much. sometimes i'm too loud. sometimes my jokes aren't funny. but i like me. i like who i am. so even if i'm not good enough for anybody else, it just doesn't matter. i can only be what i am. and there are people that love me for exactly what i am, regardless of my faults. and THAT'S what matters.