Tuesday, October 4, 2011

what i am right now

right now i am 21 years old. my birthday was september 22. here's a picture of me and my friends at a pub. i am in the midst of turning 21! can't you tell?
right now i live in london. see? here's a picture of me at shakespeare's globe. proof! i've lived here for over a month. 
that's in london, people!

right now i have a strange achy feeling below my chest but above my stomach. 

right now i miss my sister. i miss my brother. i miss my mom. i miss being able to talk to them whenever i want. i miss laughing with them. 

right now i miss my friends in provo, i worry i am missing out and they will forget me. 

right now i'm worried that bryn and i will be able to find a place to live in the winter. 

right now i am still upset over losing my favorite shirt here in the very first week. (it was in the washer, but wasn't in the dryer) :'(
the last documented picture of me wearing my favorite shirt. at the BBC Prom(s)!!!

right now i'm still upset over losing my stuffed animal mouse in edinburgh, scotland! 

right now i miss my friends back home! i've known them most of my life. they've made me who i am and i never get to see them enough because now i am old and i don't live at home and i never will again. maybe i'll never even live near home again.

right now i'm worried about the fact that i sometimes feel out of place here. 

right now i'm worried that my personal essay is completely convoluted and makes no sense. it doesn't say what i want it to. 

right now i'm worried about signing up for winter classes! i have no idea what to take!

right now i'm worried about finding a job when i get home. 

right now i'm excited about our southwestern trip next week! i've always wanted to see stonehenge. and i'm excited for when we go to paris.

right now i'm excited for the fact that my parents are coming here for a week for thanksgiving! 

right now i worry that my hair is getting to a very awkward length. 

right now i worry that i'm short with my friends because i'm sensitive and i feel claustrophobic 

right now i worry that i am too sensitive

right now i feel grateful to be here

right now i feel proud of my major

right now i feel i live in such a beautiful place
this is the Thames at night from the Southbank. You can see St. Paul's, too. 

right now i think that i am too self-conscious

right now i wonder exactly why all the boys in my past didn't like me

right now i wonder where my lost shirt is

right now i want to eat more of my double stuf oreos

right now i feel a little bad about the fact that i have an illegal stash of food contraband underneath my bed. but not bad enough to move it. 

right now i really want to be in a play again

right now i really want to listen to the radio

right now i really want to sing

right now i really want to drive my car! i miss my car. 

right now i am really glad that my cell phone doesn't work on this continent. peaceful.

right now i just put a stash of chocolate above the slate of the bunk above me

right now i wonder if i talk too much. i worry that i do. 

right now i wonder if i'd like to dye/highlight my hair brown/blonde. 

right now i wonder why i have stretch marks on my hips. at 21!

right now i wonder if i'll ever get to see all the films i want to

right now, despite all my worries and fears, i am really happy here. i wish all my education could exclusively be done through study abroads

right now i'm thankful for the gospel

right now i wish i could talk to dylan
this is a picture he sent me of him wearing the giraffe tie i got him before his mish. so kewt.

right now i am grateful for the friends i've made here. i really love them. 
and this is hardly any of them!

right now i am grateful for all i get to see and do here. every day. 
 no bigs, just cambridge. 
just chillin in the northern english countryside

right now i'm grateful for the risks i've taken here. 
lake district. and to think, at first i didn't want to hike up here. 

yeah, i'd say i'm livin pretty good here.