Friday, February 22, 2013

my life is hard

this mourning was a rough morning. i got up early so i could go to work early. and i just noticed that i just wrote mourning instead of morning over there. i guess that's my subconscious coming out. 

today was a day that happens once every few months where i'm just absolutely driving the struggle bus. it took me 50 MINUTES TO PICK OUT AN OUTFIT!!!! what the fuh. most frustrating and embarrassing thing in the world. hate my life. do you ever have those mornings where you just hate everything in your closet? like you're embarrassed you have such a pathetic slosh of clothing articles? today was that day for me. hating everything i own. agh!! it's all so ugly!! and why does it all look so ugly on me?!?! i seriously put on like 5 different outfits. and it's snowing so that limits my choices even more. and i want to get some new shoes, like shoes that i see everyone wearing (sort of lace up boot type shoes that just go a bit past your ankle) but i have no idea of where to buy them because i don't see them anywhere. those would have been perfect this morning. but no. i bought grey chords for my birthday in september and for whatever reason i loved them in that moment that i bought them and i HATE THEM NOW. they look terrible on me. i was just looking through this whole mess of stuff where i was like i paid a lot of money for that and i hate it. what is wrong with me. i just want a whole new batch. blargh. 

my play is going well. but also killing me. like actually though. it's sucking the very life/energy out of me. because now since i started teaching/directing my play i have 13.5 hour long days (going to school/teaching/working/rehearsing) tuesday-thursday. (okay, okay. on mondays and fridays it's only 10 hours.) and i'm teaching 5 elementary school classes a week, which is also taking quite the toll on my energy. but i have learned quite a lot about kids from this. namely that they love to hug you, which is sweet (i literally got hug dog-piled last week. like a legit hug attack of like 20 children that knocked me over.) but they also have no filter and you never know what will come out of their little mouths. this is both a good and bad thing. both really funny, and sometimes really startling. also they have no problem (especially between the ages of 8-11) telling you to your face how much they hate what you're making them do. children are such interesting creatures.

i think that i have an anger issue. a few weeks ago i noticed that someone had broken the back tail light on my car and i had already drafted the facebook status i was going to post:
"to whichever jag just hit my car and broke the tail light before driving away, i hope your car explodes from a car bomb." then i had a little thought that i should call my brother to see if he knew anything about it. he did. he had done it and forgotten to tell me. hmmmm.

in case you were wondering, i did not get to work early today. maybe one day i won't feel like i'm running like 100 hours behind of where i need to be. maybe. 

see!!! my life is hard!!!!

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